blessing

This past week has been life changing.

I've never gone through something like this before. It's been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Alex and I had only been here a week... and with only a 2 day notice, he deployed.
I knew that it would happen eventually... but it came out of nowhere and when we least expected it.
Moving all the way to Hawaii was hard enough without deployment thrown at us.
We only spent one night together in our new house... and every night since, I've gone to sleep alone.

I miss him so much. Every. Single. Day.

Through all the heartache we've endured in this whole process...
I'm coming to realize that absolutely everything happens for a reason.
This has been nothing short of a blessing in disguise.

The last month in NY was a tough one. We were both under so much stress all of the time. I think that we got caught up in life and started to take one another for granted. I didn't hesitate to get angry at him... and he slowly stopped bringing me flowers. I don't know exactly what happened to me. I just know that I felt trapped in our small apartment... Alex worked over 12 hours a day...and the sun didn't even shine in our town. It was depressing.

When Alex called me and told me that he was being deployed... my whole world literally stopped. Everything around me stood still. I just couldn't believe it. I wanted to hold onto him and never let him go.

The past week I've grown so much and I've discovered so much about myself. I've learned how to be a responsible adult. I've realized how much Alex really does for me.
Most importantly, I've gained such a stronger appreciation for him.

I love him NOW more than ever.

I'm so thankful that I was able to experience this. It's strengthened me and its made me change into a better person.
I'm so ready for him to be home... so I can give him all the love that he truly deserves.
And promise him that I will never take him for granted EVER again.