morning flight

My flight leaves tomorrow morning... and my suitcase is empty...

I'm so excited that I dont even know what to pack. Leave it to me to wait till last minute.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I cant believe it's almost here!! :D

After a nice big bowl of Special K

& a late night phone call with the lovebug, I'm ready to pack :)

BRING IT!

numero dos

So I've been counting down & wishing for a time machine to move Thursday closer and closer... and uh... now that its just a few days away...

I NEED A PAUSE BUTTON!!

I think that its an understatement to say that I'm scared. I'm freaking out people!
-I'm NOT looking forward to the 2 planes its going to take to get to SC... just thinking about it makes my tummy sad.
-I'm SUPER nervous to see A again... just because I'm going to explode with emotion the second I see him waiting for me. -good emotion of course! lol
-I'm sorta anxious & nervous at the same time to spend time with his parents. I've only met them once... and not even as his girlfriend... so things are going to be a bit different this time around. (& they have NO idea that we're moving into together... YIKES!)
-I'm also have wicked bad self esteem problems lately. Like more than ever. I'm just not okay with what I see when I look at myself.

God knows the list could go on. But to top everything off... by the beginning of next month, I will be living in New York! (well, duh) I guess its still finally hitting me slowly. I think I've been keeping my eye on the prize & not taking a chance to look at whats around me. I spend most of my time daydreaming about how great my future is going to be when I'm with A... but I spend ZERO amount of time thinking about leaving my bestfriend & family behind. A always comforts me by saying,

"You have to grow up sometime." But the thing is, he's preaching to a girl that spent her entire life believing she was Peter Pan. So naturally, I'm scared to death.

"Is this what you really want?" 
-If I hear this question ONE more time,
I'm going to explode! Would I honestly be
moving across the country with someone
that I wasn't 100% absolutely sure about?
Uhmmm... NO. So yes, I'm sure about A.
I may not have a pretty, shiny, little ring
on my finger... but I'm pretty certain I will
someday. I visualize my future with A...
nothing other than that. Like to the point
where it's impossible... if I close my eyes
& attempt to visualize not being with him...
I cant see anything.

So aside from all the tears I will shed while I'm driving away... and when I catch a bad case of being "home sick",
all I have do is look at him. He is the rest of my life. & I want to enjoy every single moment of it.

pack rat

So I'm going to have to start getting used to this packing & unpacking thing...
I'm soooo tired! I finally got everything packed except for my every day products & ALL of my clothes. Its hard getting rid of my things... theres a lot stuff that I really love- from pink bath soaps to pink bath mats... BUT I know that A doesn't want a pink apartment ;) lol so I'm getting rid of it. I'm honestly leaving tons of stuff behind. I just want to start fresh & new with A... it's actually feeling really good (: Like a giant weight is being lifted off of me as I throw more and more things into the yard sale box. I think the only time I'm going to have a problem is when I have to sort through my clothes... thats a whole DIFFERENT story :P

4 more days till I'm off to SC for his graduation. Then we're driving back to FL on Easter Sunday... and then leaving for NY on the 28th (:
I think my mom is planning a surprise party for me on one of the days I'm back from SC... idk, we'll see ;)

I'm also trying to think of something sweet to do for A on Easter. Its kind of hard to come up with an idea... I mean its not Valentines Day lol But I do want to do something special... just to show that I care <3

s i x

I think that everything is starting to hit me- at this very second- like a pile of bricks. 

I only have SIX more days here. (not including the few days between graduation & the move)
There are so many people that I want to see... so many things that I want to do. & I'm starting to feel regret for wasting so much time doing NOTHING.

I'm also really excited to A. I've been waiting for about 2 months & I'm so ready to curl up into his arms. I may be leaving the life that I know behind... but I'm building the most incredible future with him. I wish there were words to describe what I feel like when I talk to him... or see him... or think of him. -But there really are NO words.

But aside from the excitement for the future... I'm still sad to say goodbye to life I know.

home sweet home

A & I just found out that we got the dream apartment!!!! :D

New York, here we come!

one of those thoughts

A friend of mine posted a picture on FB a little ago of her Navy husband kissing her goodbye at the airport. Immediately I started thinking about all the times I've had to say goodbye to A, and how badly my heart ached. Luckily, we haven't had to go through a deployment yet... but we will someday.
So, I've been thinking about it for a little while... and my mind somehow got wrapped around a very interesting thought...

Its extremely hard for us to say goodbye to the one we love... to hug & kiss them & then watch them walk away....
but can you imagine how hard it is for them... to gain the strength & be the one that has to walk away- from the one that THEY love...

I'm not sure I'd ever be strong enough to do that- but I truly do envy those that do. <3


{I love you A}

my world

He has honestly become 

my ENTIRE world.

I think its pretty astonishing when you wake up one day & realize that you finally found "the one". Someone you think about non-stop, someone you daydream about sharing your future with, someone you would give absolutely anything & everything for. (:
Its starts to sink in when you do small things like shopping & instead of thinking about just yourself... you buy things with the mind of "US" (:
Its something like no other. This is my life- falling into place. & everything just feels RIGHT.

realization

I have realized I've been blessed with an amazing man... an outstanding partner... & a best friend. I think sometimes I take it for granted & don't notice how good that I have it. As long as A is in my life, I have no need to ever complain about the small things that will soon be pointless. Thank you {Jessica} for opening my eyes. You are in my prayers <3

loooong day

Yesterday;
OH MY GOODNESS... what a day! Ashlyn & I went to my college apartment to move my things to my parents house & it was pure CHAOS.
My [ex]roommates are so crazy. I have never met people like them before in my life... NEVER again will I put myself in that living arrangement. I cant get into details because thinking about it makes me sad/angry/upset/livid/crazy but pretty much, the [ex]roomies buy, sell, & DO drugs... hardcore drugs. & this is me... someone who has never even touched a cigarette... surrounded by this stuff.... I wanted to SCREAM. I couldn't handle being around them & that stuff because it disgusted me so bad. But one thing is for sure- I'm glad that I never turned out like that... that I never took that well traveled road to drug use. GO ME! :D

But now my entire body is aching- thats what happens when two 20 year old girls move everything by themselves from the 2nd story.... AHHHHHH D:

Last Night;
I went to bed at 11:30!! (: I actually went to bed at night time!
Let me explain: I've become nocturnal lately. Extreme nocturnal... like going to bed at 7am kind of nocturnal. BAD, I know...
I was just so exhausted from the move... but I HAD to watch my show, 'Coming Home' about military loved ones coming home. It makes me cry every time, but I never miss it! (:


Today;
I'm going to be a lazy bum & relax these poor muscles. At some point I need to go through all of the boxes that are scattered in my parent's living room. We just kinda threw things in boxes & then left & then threw them into the living room. So now I have to organize that mess. But I think it will be exciting to start packing the boxes for the move with A (: Just thinking about it puts a smile on my face!

well, wish me luck!

Skype Night

 It's FRIDAY (: Which means that A & I get to talk to online with our friends! woo hoo! 

But before we got started with all of our friends... A. video called me...

and uh... THIS is what I do ;)

I think that A's reactions to my craziness are absolutely PRICELESS :D

treize

Today; I'm ready to go. I'm ready to pack all of my things & leap into this next chapter of my life.
I find myself waking up & immediately checking how many days I have left. My parent's couch is getting old... and I just want to have my "own place" again. Thirteen days seem like such a long wait. But I think back & remember A. & I saying, "only six more weeks". WOW! How the heck did I do it?? (: I know that our relationship is going to consist of a lot of countdowns... how many days till we move, how many days till he deploys, how many days till he comes home, how many days till he leaves again... a never ending circle. BUT thats okay, because I'm becoming a pro! (:
I'm not feeling nervous for the future anymore... just really anxious of whats ahead of us! I cant wait till I can start writing about moving in & all the fun & crazy things that A. & I do (: It's going to be much better than this silly countdown I've got going on! PROMISE ;D
Also, I've been planning on redoing my blog... it's gotten old to me... and it's lacking PINK... which is driving me crazy... There's always gonna be some pink in our Navy blue world! <3

f o u r teen

14 more days left in this sunshine state! :D
Thats the big, "two week mark"!!!

Old times

 {{This has NOTHING to do with A. & I... but it's an important part of MY life}}

Today;
I'm going to my high school that I attended for 2 out of 4 years. I was on the dance team/colorguard & thats how I met 2 of my really great friends- Ashlyn & Jency. We were State Champions of 2008 placing 1st place & showing off our gold metals (: Now we're going back to see what the team looks like now; 3 years later. (: I think tonight is going to be an interesting one!
I'm really excited to be around some old friends again, I know its going to feel weird at first & I'm going to have a lot of flash backs. & I think that its really great that I'm able to experience this before I move away. (: 

Ashlyn, me & Jency (: before practice in '08

1st place at State Championships



OUR CHAMPIONSHIP SHOW (:

Catch-Me-Up in a N u t s h e l l

SOooOoo, I haven't blogged in a while... so heres whats been going on in "our world" lately;

A. turned 20 a few days ago! (:

He bought his FIRST CAR! (I was more excited than him...)

 We booked our weekend plans for his graduation in SC

We sent in the application to our "dream apartment" which is currently on hold for us :D

I volunteered at the Relay for Life (for my dad who is the honorary person this year)

I have to go to my college apartment on Tuesday to pack... which may be weird considering none of my roommates speak to me anymore.

I've noticed that I've become nocturnal

& ONLY 16 MORE DAYS!!!

(until I'm in those strong sailor arms!)

 

I cant believe how quickly the time has passed. I mean, when it felt like forever in the moment.... but I look back on it & it seems so fast. I'm really excited thats for sure! I'm anxious to pack all of my things at the college apartment & get it the heck out of there! (:

Sometimes I take a step back & I cant believe that this is actually my life. It all came so soon & out of nowhere. I mean, 6 months ago I had just moved into my first apartment, got my first job & was living it up college style with the roommates. But somewhere in the beginning stages, I just knew that it wasn't really the life for me. I mean I'm glad that I was able to experience being independent & providing for myself... but I always felt lonely. & I wanted to cook & clean for someone rather than just myself.

& BAM! A. just popped up in my life again out of nowhere & swept me off of my feet. He's making all of my dreams come true (: & I can honestly say that I have NEVER had that before. He's one of a kind! & all mine <3